405:

“The expression on his face stunned me. He was open, hopeful, a little sad, and waiting. He was a man, a human being, sitting there on the edge of the bed, liking a girl. All of his armor was down and for a minute, he looked angelic.”

—

sarah dopp, THE SOCIAL EXPERIMENT (from COMING AND CRYING)

[ms dopp’s story thoroughly trashed me because it reminded me of dozens (hundreds?) of fumblings with people i didn’t expect to like for more than a couple hours, and whom i didn’t expect to like me at all aside from the fact i was willing and had a penis and mouth.  and i’m reading, and she’s telling her story and i’m reading and i start my little teary piece of the evening, remembering sex, remembering little unsure conversations and mornings after, and how not one of them held me the way she was held because that’s what i needed…

…my cigarette broke and i’m smoking the unfiltered piece.]