
Me: I got my copy of the book that Meaghan has been working on yesterday.
Mom: Where can I buy a copy?
Me: They’re selling it online…comingandcrying.com
Mom: Whatandcrying.com?
Me: Coming. And. Crying. Dot. Com
Mom: Huh?
Me: COMING.
Mom: Running?
Me: Um. Haven’t we been over this? Didn’t you get that article that I sent you about the project? The one that was in New York Mag?
Mom: No. You probably didn’t send it.
Me: Yes. I sent it. I thought you just never acknowledged it because the book is about sex, and I assumed that you were being a prude.
Mom: LINDSAY, I AM A GROWN WOMAN. WHERE CAN I BUY THE BOOK.
Me: Just so we’re clear, it’s about sex.
Mom: Yes, I get it. I just won’t give it to my friends as a Christmas gift, ok?
Me: Ok.
<3
405:
coming and crying (by javier chavez)
what you may not know is back in march, the very week i was fired from my job, that’s when i saw that melissa gira and meaghan o’connell were going the kickstarter route to bring us this book, COMING AND CRYING, and without any job prospects that very week (what a wreck i was), i donated a few bucks toward it.
i was maybe only then coming to certain terms of sexual confidence with my then-boyfriend, and i was hurt because of the work thing, and i was negotiating through some familial financial strife. maybe you didn’t know this either.
but it occurred to me, from that point on, that when the book arrived, i don’t know, it would make all of that better somehow. maybe the first reason was that i somehow helped those who i love on the internet MAKE SOMETHING. the second was getting stories by these same lovely people. a third, perhaps, is that ‘true stories about the other side of the bed’ are, i think, what i like the most about writing: no love nor sex but what’s before and after. and even a possible fourth reason is i believe that stories, when they are well told, are better than a boxfull of pills when you’re suffering through a cold. anyway.
what you also may not know is that now, nearly six months to the very week when i lost my job, i’m on the cusp of starting a new one, the financial straits my family’s in is about to get better (funny how a thing like a job will do that, hey?), the boyfriend and i are broken up (many long conversations and tears later) and now all i seem to want is sex.
and here’s COMING AND CRYING (532/651), waiting for me after a cloudy afternoon in los angeles (with the aforementioned now-ex boyfriend). kind of like i maybe always knew it would be.
kind of like i maybe always knew it would be, too.
We have been getting this question a lot. Tonight, from a sweet guy in Baltimore. I’m a little “excited” still from Stephen’s book party tonight (the paperback of The Adderall Diaries is out — no, not that kind of excited!) and so I wrote a longer reply than I normally get to in the middle of my day-to-day. Anyway, here is that and here is my way of saying, I want all of the books to you, NOW, and here is why they may not be:
Hi, David,
I feel your anticipation — and we’re trying to figure out what’s been delivered and what hasn’t through following the updates our backers are giving us. Folks have blogged and posted to Twitter (I cannot bring myself to say “tweet,” even now, in 2010) about when they got their book, and some of the inconsistencies are maddening!
Like, for instance: we sorted our books into twelve different bags. I think 6 were mixed bags (literally) of zip codes all across the US. Six were limited to one zip code per bag, based on where we had the most backers — and those were New York City (100xx), Brooklyn (112xx), San Francisco (941xx), Los Angeles, Chicago, Seattle, and Minneapolis[1]. Which, at the last minute I think, after we had been on the loading dock at the business bulk mail center on 10th Ave at 31st for four hours, was mixed into the mixed bags.
So as far as we can tell, from divining the blog posts like very adorable entrails, books to those six-now-five distinct zip codes arrived first, as they were all presorted and the post office had basically nothing to do with them but stick them on a truck or plane or whatnot.
And as for the mixed bags —- well.
I am sorry you are in a mixed bag and that more people from your zip code (I mean, Baltimore, come on people!) did not back the book. We needed at least 10 to get you your own bag. Next time we will market in a more focused way? That almost makes sense, here at this late hour.
Know that Meaghan and I each read each of these plaintive emails about the status of books and we are hoping that EVERY SINGLE BOOK is in our backers’ hands by the end of this week.
After then, we will bring in the search party.
Stay strapped in until Friday at least? And after then, we’ll re-assess with our post office ladies, whose names are Dora and Estelle. I guess Dora is Small Press World Famous for being one of the only people at the post office in all of New York who actually picks up the phone? We have her on our side. We’ll see what we can do if we have to recover or resend books and be in touch if (ahhhhh god I hope not) need be.
Thank you again for the eight months of patience you have already extended us.
love and non-returned bulk mail items weighing slightly less than 16 ounces,
melissa
[1] Minneapolis did get mixed in. I am sorry to all of you, Minneapolis.
epic:
This American Wife Episode 11 - “Coming and Crying”
Meaghan O’Connell and Melissa Gira Grant, creators of a self-published anthology about sex, discuss their journey on the verge of the project’s tearful release. Erica Moore reads a heartbreaking story from the book about being free, while producer Eric Martin tells a story about going down - just not like you think. Chin up, it’s This American Wife.
Hosted by Ned Hepburn and Eric Martin
Subscribe on itunes here
Download episode here
Despite a little initial trepidation, it was a lot of fun to work with Eric and Ned who were professional and creative. I’m actually a fan of the podcast (if you haven’t listened to Justine Bateman’s episode, stop what you’re doing and go find it) but alerted them from the start that I lacked the usual coquettish wit and ballsy female charm to which they tend. (“Awkward” was a personal disclaimer frequently proffered.)
Lucky for me, they were fine with focusing part of this Very Special Episode on rambling, heartbroken, mildly-erotic and overly-analytical dispatches from “the middle of nowhere.” Which IS right in my wheelhouse. Win!
So, check out this episode in which Meaghan and Melissa provide a smart, wry summary of the book-making business.
Then I take a deep breath and read the first half of my C&C story, which was scary and vulnerable but falls in the category of “Things You do After Saying What the Hell And Ultimately Don’t Regret”
Finally, producer Eric Martin shares a pretty epic, funny, pause-giving story about surviving and what the hell you’re going to do with this one life you’ve got.
Things like this, apparently.



Coming and Crying, my gosh, it’s beautiful.
came home from an insane, way-too-long work day to discover my copy of coming and crying in front of my door. read the first story standing in the kitchen. love!
Look what I spotted at McNally Jackson while walking by this evening! Look at Melissa’s face, right there on the cover! Look at Kickstarter happening in real life!! (Also, the people standing behind this display probably thought I was crazy — I tried to get some close ups for awhile. Sorry about that!)
I’m all moved into my new studio. I celebrated by sleeping naked and putting together bookshelves, not naked. Pictured: Half-assed attempt to organize by color; the flowers I bought myself; Fail Whale pillow; Coming & Crying.