It’s a wild Saturday morning over here at Coming & Crying HQ, which today happened to be a coffee shop in Ft. Greene where Melissa and I spent the morning scheming excitedly and finding out we hit the $10k mark (!!!), but more on that later.

I fell in love with Tao Lin’s very particular brand of hilarity at a reading at WORD, the “bookstore of my dreams,” where he read an imagined Gchat conversation between Dakota Fanning and Haley Joel Osment (!!!)(an excerpt, I think, of his forthcoming novel, Richard Yates).

From there I found his Nerve story, “Sex After Not Seeing Each Other For A Few Days,” and my affection for his very weird, painstakingly self-aware, scare quote-ridden journey towards truth (or the oftentimes more interesting just falling short of it) was very much cemented.

Having him here was a dream of ours from the beginning, and a few weeks ago, after both of us had just finished Shoplifting From American Apparel, Melissa and I found ourselves (serendipitously?) at an event for The Rumpus, where Tao was reading.

In grand literary tradition, we cornered him after a few drinks and, well, as they say, the rest is history:

meaghan: SUP tao lin!
tao: happy valentine’s day
meaghan: Eeep!
tao:  what other contributors have you gotten?
meaghan: Um, we have Lorrie Moore…
tao: liar…
meaghan: JUST KIDDING, wouldn’t that be awesome? i would “die”
tao: yeah
meaghan: (was that a good use of scare quotes?)
tao: you should ask her. it was, good job
meaghan: Because i wouldn’t actually die.
tao: yes, good job. what’s going to be on the cover
meaghan: I thought you were?
tao: sweet…i have some sexy photos…on my photobooth
meaghan: HAH, send ‘em over.
tao: it should be a girl though, to increase sales maybe
meaghan: Ha. That’s “sexist”— oh wait are you supposed to only use one ’ vs “
tao: if you’re typing in all lowercase you’re supposed to use one ‘
meaghan: Ohhh, hahahahhahaa.
tao: yeah
meaghan: So my interviewy question is— why did you ‘agree’ to ‘contribute’ to this ‘book’?
tao: stephen elliott said yes, i saw something like $6k was raised, i feel impressed that one of the editors works for tumblr, and i thought it wouldn’t be ‘excruciating’ to write since i could just write something that happened, in first-person. and i remembered something you wrote about me, when you came to my reading at WORD. You said i was weird, i think.
meaghano: Oh yes, I said that you were super weird but hilarious.
tao: i had linked your post on my blog, like 2 years ago
meaghan: i know! i was sort of starstruck.
tao: i was glad you thought the things i read were funny
meaghan: Do you mean them to be? i always wonder that.
tao: i do
meaghan: You read so deadpan and sometimes i almost feel bad for laughing. i dont think i laugh at any readings as much as i do yours.
tao: i mean for it to be funny. sweet…
meaghan: oh PHEW. Do you laugh IRL ever? Are you laughing now?
tao: Yes, rarely, sort of. No, i’m sort of grinning a little
meaghan: That’s kind of sad?
tao: i laugh ‘on the inside,’ maybe.  i grin a lot
meaghan: Ah. Are you someone who says “that’s funny,” but doesn’t laugh (like Lorrie Moore says in gate at the stairs)?
tao: yes, sometimes. claire danes says that in…forgot the movie. the one with macualey culkin’s brother
meaghan: my so-called life? i wish
tao: When is the book coming out, do you think?
meaghan: Well, fundraising closes March 1, so probably mid-to-late April?
tao: nice. what’s the longest submission being published?
meaghan: I have no idea! We don’t have all of them yet!
tao: how long is stephen elliott’s?
meaghan: Hah wouldnt you like to know!
tao: hehe…
meaghan: (I think like 3 pages? maybe 4?) (Does that make you want to make yours longer?)
tao: i don’t know….mine is maybe 10 pages actually, currently. i want to ‘dominate’ the book, jk (sort of)
meaghan: HA. That isn’t a jk
tao: hehe… i feel like tumblr and twitter are owned by the same ‘parent company’….i know they aren’t
meaghan: Ha. So back to you! Your story is sort of like- “Things I Didn’t Come Out and Say in Shoplifting From American Apparel”
tao: Yeah
meaghan: which i thought was really interesting/cool
tao: interesting
meaghan: It was very meta at times, which i always appreciate.
binky.tabby: hm, didn’t think of that, but yeah. maybe i can be the new [someone] after this. john barth?
meaghan: Which one is he again? The balloon story guy?
tao: (jk) i think that’s donald barthelme
meaghan: Oh yeah!  I was close!
tao: this one doesnt have a main thing associated with him i think
meaghan: I’m glad you knew what i meant, though. I’m feeling pretty good about this interview.
tao: me too
meaghan: Even though i was totally confusing Barth and Barthelme
tao: that’s ok, same last name ‘pretty much’
meaghan: I kinda redeemed myself with the balloon thing.
tao: yeah, that was good. i only vaguely know what you’re talking about re: balloon thing
meaghan: You should name your kid Barth Elme. Then i will truly applaud you.
tao: Sort of like ‘esme’ re Salinger. that sounds good. elme, sounds really funny
meaghan: Do you like Salinger? Seems like you might ‘hate’ him.
tao: i haven’t read him in ~5 years, seems like i would like him ‘okay’
meaghan: Wait how old are you?
tao: 26
meaghan: ‘damn’. Do you feel weird writing about ‘sex’ or is it fine? Is it easier when someone asks you to?
tao: i like doing it
meaghan: Doing It or writing about sex?
tao: hehe…both i guess. damn
meaghan: Hahahaha. Got ya! So basically your story is telling us the stuff you kind of SKIPPED if you will in S.F.A.A.— why did you skip it?
tao: yes. for that particular scene, it seemed most emotional/satisfying to end before any sexual things had happened w/ that character
meaghan: Yeah, without it the scene definitely comes off more paralyzed.
tao: also, for the book in entirety it seemed more satisfying to skip all sex things, it ‘reinforced’ the ‘calm’ mood i wanted the book to have, to some degree.
meaghan: It’s this sort of refusal for a real narrative? I sound like an asshole. Nihilistic is too extreme, but, it’s more, Here are these every day things: yelling about red shirts, sitting on benches, not talking…
tao: i think the book doesn’t have a ‘contrived’ narrative, but that seems like something outside of not having sex in the book. wait, it does have a ‘contrived’ narrative, very much so, but it’s ‘contrived’ to be ‘not contrived’ (from the perspective of ppl who expect a book to have a kind of narrative
meaghan: Right, hah— a purposeful refusal of a traditional narrative-y narrative.
tao: i feel like i said all i have to say about sex, at this point, in terms of concrete description, in my nerve.com sex story,  so that’s another reason there isn’t sex in sfaa
meaghan: Ah, your story,  “Sex After Not Seeing Each Other For Awhile.” I liked the thing about a burrito in space, by the way. That was very sweet. Not sweet in the ‘sweet’ sense—  “HEARTWARMING.” And you sure do make us work for heartwarming.
tao: oh, good re ‘heartwarming’. it seems like some corporation should donate something like $25k [to the book project].
meaghan: Yeah maybe they will! Haha. Speaking of, what do you think about self-publishing? The Future?
tao: i dont know— to sell mad units you ‘need’ distribution to bookstores, and you get that through a publisher, who has deals with distributors. You could make a lot more money selling yourself, bypassing stores, though, so i think it would work just as well, doing it yourself, financially.
meaghan: It’s just a lot more work. But it is a fun experiment / experience. Experimence!
tao: yes. damn
meaghan: I know. I am on fire. Okay, so any last words / ideas / feelings / facial expressions?
tao: thanks for having me in the book.
meaghan: Thanks for being in the book! We are super excited you are going to be!
tao: i’m excited also, thanks
meaghan: and honored, etc, that you believe in it / us! ‘maybe’?
tao: yes of course i do